Thursday, June 26, 2014

Stop Judging and Just Be Kind

Largely because of social media--comments on blogs or articles, text messages or status updates--it's so easy to be rude, mean or hurtful to others. Not only is it easy, but people also sometimes go out of their way to hurt someone. 

Yet, we can just as easily be kind, uplift and build others. We can even go out of our way to do it. And, we should. 

Though both are easy, there are BIG differences in the results.

The first, can hurt--deeply. It can cause another person to feel "less-than," make them feel more self-doubt than they likely already did, cause contention, and basically help fill the world with more negativity. Why do you suppose there are so many wars? Why is there so much suicide? Why are depression, eating disorders and sorrow so prevalent? How much of it could be wiped away if everyone sought to be kind rather than to be mean? Obviously, there are circumstances that cause some of these issues besides a lack of kindness, but how much of it could be averted?

Conversely, being kind, giving compliments and uplifting others can change a person--and the world. It's easy to do and often leaves both people feeling better. It inspires more kindness. More happiness. More love. Even if you don't agree with something the other person says, does or thinks, you can STILL be kind.

Stop judging and give people the benefit of the doubt!

I recently had an article become quite popular. It was written in fun and sarcasm with some snark. While I did receive a little bit of positive feedback, there was a lot more negative criticism and personal attacks--where people sought me out to deliberately say something critical and unkind. Even though these comments are from strangers, they still hurt. They still caused me to question myself and what I do as a writer. The intent of my article was for people in similar situations to laugh, yet, those who chose to contact me were mostly those spreading negativity. Just because you don't know me and can't see me face-to-face, doesn't mean I don't exist and have feelings.

I think people sometimes say hurtful things without realizing there is another person on the receiving end--or how they would feel to be on that end.

Whatever happened to "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?" Or how about the Golden Rule? Why people go out of their way to bully or be mean is beyond me. If you don't agree with something someone says or does, you don't have to respond nastily. Just stop reading. Ignore it. Change the subject. Un-friend or "hide" the content you'd rather not see. Or try to understand or realize you probably don't know/understand their situation. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Just consider this cartoon:


No matter what you do some people will tell you you're wrong, criticize and judge you. What is so difficult about just finding the positive? 

No one is perfect, but that is no excuse for being mean. Apologize and make amends if you have hurt someone--whether purposefully or accidentally. You never know what another person is going through or has gone through in their life which has influenced who they are and what they do. Or, what influence for good or bad your comments can have on someone else. 

Seek to be kind, even when others are mean to you. Seek to find the good, even when you disagree. Try to uplift, compliment and build everyone around you. Make the world a better place by spreading positive love and kindness. You will never regret being too kind

© Wendy 2014


  1. Great blog... kindness matters. I want my children to live in a kind world. And I believe it's possible, if I start with me. Kindness can be contagious just like a bad mood is. We3 did 26 Acts of Kindness a year and a half ago and I saw a huge positive change in them and me. I felt like we each were more ourselves, closer to the person God created each of us to be.

    1. Thanks for your thoughtful comment! I love that you did the acts of kindness--one of the best ways to teach kindness and service to your family. You're exactly right that kindness begins with "me." And, the benefits are everlasting.